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"Come on," he droned, "I've been ordered to take you down to the bridge. Here I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me to take you down to the bridge. Call that job satisfaction? 'Cos I don't."


-Marvin, the Android

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

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"O none, unless this miracle have might,

That in black ink my love may still shine bright."


Sonnet LXV - William Shakespeare



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"I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the d*** things."

Dorothy Parker


lol, I think this will become my favourite quote of all times ;)

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The infinite wisdom of Homer J. Simpson


Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else -- and it hasn't -- it's that girls should stick to girl's sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.

-- Homer Simpson



"Phfft! Facts. You can use them to prove anything.

-- Homer Simpson



Hey, just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!

-- Homer Simpson



Trying is the first step towards failure.

-- Homer Simpson


Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.

-- Homer Simpson


To alcohol! The cause of -- and solution to -- all of life's problems!

-- Homer Simpson


Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get!

-- Homer Simpson



And Dr. Squid


He who hesitates is probably smart... or maybe stapled to the floor.

---Dr. Squid



In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king... and the one-eyed man with the high heels and the feather boa is queen.

---Dr. Squid



Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think, and a docudrama with ugly actors for those who film docudramas.

---Dr. Squid



Sloppy thinking only gets worse with decapitation.

---Dr. Squid



The most valuable and useful of all talents and abilities is that of never using two words or descriptions when one will do or suffice.

---Dr. Squid



The only absolute knowledge worth attaining is that your life is meaningless. -- My life? Well now, that's another story...

---Dr. Squid


You are cautious in showing your true self to others. Have you thought about plastic surgery?

---Dr. Squid


And lastly....BEER


"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

Benjamin Franklin, (1706-1790).


"It is disgusting to notice the increase in the quantity of coffee used by my subjects, and the amount of money that goes out of the country as a consequence. Everybody is using coffee; this must be prevented. His Majesty was brought up on beer, and so were both his ancestors and officers. Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer, and the King does not believe that coffee-drinking soldiers can be relied upon to endure hardships in case of another war."

Frederick the Great of Prussia (1777), from Scientific American, June 1998.


"He was a wise man who invented beer."

Plato (Greek philosopher) 428- 347 BC


"Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer."

Arnold Schwarzenegger (1975)


"Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!"

Homer Simpson


"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer."

Frank Zappa


"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."

Dave Barry


"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."

Dave Barry


"Those who drink beer will think beer."

Washington Irving, American author (1783-1859)


"Most people hate the taste of beer - to begin with. It is, however, a prejudice that many people have been able to overcome."

Winston Churchill


“Some people wanted champagne and caviar when they should have had beer and hot dogs.”

Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890-1969)


“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is strength, in water there is bacteria.”

David Auerbach (2002)

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Just a few musical quotations:


"You body is a dream that turns violent." - Ben Lee Catch my Disease


"If I were your appendages, I'd hold open your eyes so that you would see...that all of us are heaven sent."

- Incubus Megalomaniac


"Well I heard there was a secret chord

the day it played it pleased the Lord

but you don't really care for music do you?"


"Love is not a victory march

it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah."

- Leonard Cohen Hallelujah


"Anger is a gift."

- Rage Against the Machine Freedom


"Your eyes become corridors

where I wander

with a candle

calling out to you...

and you only hide

because you know I'll find you."

- Something for Kate You Only Hide...


"Sitting on that plane getting cheated out of thursday

all because of laws about time and space

acrros the isle - his tie wrapped round his neck

arms wrapped around a briefcase like it's something

or someone

more important

and all the excitement you can see the comet from here

you can see anything you want to see

magnified five hundred times

I only want to see you

but there's a comet blocking my view..."

- Something for Kate Telescope


"They say I'm down

they tell me I should brighten up

that's just cos they don't know

an explosion when they see one."

- Something for Kate Twenty Years


"Some say the end is near

some say we'll see armageddon soon

I certainly hope we will

I sure could use a vacation..."

- Tool Aenima



And some nifty theatrical ones...



"I'm not interested in that kind of nonsense. We're above love.


And I suppose I'm beneath love." - Anton Checkov The Cherry Orchard


As the characters pray...

"Nothing happened. Bastard! He dosen't exst.....Not yet." - Samuel Beckett Endgame


"We are such stuff as dreams are made on

and our little life is rounded with a sleep." - Shakespeare The Tempest





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Be bold in what you stand for; and careful what you fall for.


No idea who this is from, but I would suggest a small change....


Be bold in what you stand for; and careful who you fall for.

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I wrote a poem not too long ago expressing similar sentiments, but this social/political writer said it better than I ever could... and almost a hundred years ago to boot. Guess there really is nothing new under the sun.



"I am a battery that needs to be often recharged. I require the excitement of friendship; I must have constant stimulation of friends. I do not spark automatically, but must have other minds to rub up against, and strike from them by friction the spark that will kindle my thoughts." ~ Randolph Bourne, The Excitement of Friendship




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“There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: Those who are afraid to try and those who are afraid you will succeed.” Ray Goforth

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“Remember, America started with armed conflict. It’s called the Revolutionary War, not the Revolutionary Let’s All Sit Down And Talk About Our Feelings. Still I bet we’d have won that one also!"


Stephen Colbert



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"Am I a butterfly dreaming I'm a man... Or a bowling ball dreaming I'm a plate of sashimi? Never assume that what you see and feel is real!"


Doreen (qtd. from Chrono Trigger)


(What can I say? I enjoy the absurd.)

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"Style is always in service to content" ~Alan Shapiro


"Meter is necessary, but insufficient condition for rhythm." ~Alan Shapiro

Edited by reverie

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"The primordial image, or archetype, is a figure--be it a daemon, a

human being, or a process--that constantly recurs in the course of

history and appears wherever creative fantasy is freely expressed.

Essentially, therefore, it is a mythological figure. . . . In each

of these images there is a little piece of human psychology and

human fate, a remnant of the joys and sorrows that have been repeated

countless times in our ancestral history. . . ."


~Carl Jung~ ("On the Relation of Analytical Psychology to Poetry" [_CW_ 15: 127])

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"Love as Thou Wilt" - Elua from the Kushiel Series


"I never have to look for trouble, its always right there real handy when I wake up in the morning"-Dutchess and the dirty water Fox


"That which is dead may eternal lie and with strange aeons even death may die" - H.P Lovecraft, Call of Cthulhu




"The world around me has always been mad. Where have you been?" - The World Inferno Friendship Society, "Leni Reifensthal at the End of Time

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Some of the things that I have read that have stuck with me, each for a different reason. Not your typical series of quotes, but quotes nonetheless. :rolleyes:


"I want to know God's thoughts. All the rest are details." Einstein


"Dinner's on the stove, war is on the screen

Pass the bread and butter while I watch the marine.

They shot him in the chest,

Pass the chicken breast

And the general is saying that he's still not impressed.

We had to burn the city because they wouldn't believe

Things go better with Democracy!

Hey, hey the cost of life is sky high

Does this deoderant really keep me dry?

Well this is life, this is prime time,

This is living the American way."—Don McClean


“Listen to the Mustn’ts, child,

Listen to the don’ts

Listen to the shouldn’ts

The impossibles, the Won’ts

Listen to the never haves

Then listen close to me--

Anything can happen, child,

Anything can be.” Listen to the Mustn’ts, Shell Silverstein



"You come on like a blood-stained hurricane"—Current rock song forget the band


"Faith is an unseen bridge spanning a chasm of infinite dimensions."—A little something of my own


“Then Merry heard of all sounds in that hour the strangest. It seemed that Dernhelm laughed, and the clear voice was like the ring of steel. ‘But no living man am I! You look upon a woman. Eowyn I am, Eomunds daughter. You stand between me and my lord and kin. Begone, if you be not deathless! For living or dark undead, I will smite you, if you touch him.’” The Return of the King, J.R.R Tolkien


“Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.” The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglass Adams


“Under the bright lights of the finished show, a performer need only reflect the electric candle power that is directed upon him but in the dark and dirty old training rings and in the makeshift cages, whatever light is generated, whatever excitement, whatever beauty, must come from original sources--from internal fires of professional hunger and delight, from the exuberance and gravity of youth. It is the difference between planetary light and the combustion of stars.” The Ring of Time, E.B. White


“I’m sure the red fern has grown and has completely covered the two little mounds. I know it is still there, hiding its secret beneath those long, red leaves, but it wouldn’t be hidden from me for a part of my life is buried there, too.


Yes, I know it is still there, for in my heart I believe the legend of the sacred red fern.” Where the Red Fern Grows, Wilson Rawls


“For Tolkien, story is the most effective carrier of truth because it works with images rather than concepts, with forms rather than abstract ideas, and with action rather than with argument.”--Verlyn Flieger, Splintered Light


“The entity that was Stormbringer, last manifestation of Chaos which would remain with this new world as it grew, looked down on the corpse of Elric of Melnibone and smiled.


‘Farewell friend. I was a thousand times more evil than thou!’”--Michael Moorcock, Stormbringer


“Who is this? And what is here?

And in the lighted palace near

Died the sound of royal cheer;

And they crossed themselves for fear,

All the knights at Camelot;

But Lancelot mused a little space

He said, ‘she has a lovely face;

God in his mercy lend her grace,

The lady of Shalott.’”--Alfred Lord Tennyson, The Lady of Shalot


“True!—nervous—very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why will you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses—not destroyed—not dulled them. Above all was the sense of hearing acute. I heard all things in the heaven and earth. I heard many things in hell. How, then, am I mad? Hearken! and observe how healthily—how calmly I can tell you the whole story.”—Edgar Allan Poe, The Tell-Tale Heart


“Today, the road all runners come,

Shoulder-high we bring you home,

And set you at your threshold down,

Townsman of a stiller town.”—A. E. Housman, To an Athlete Dying Young


“Now I was eight and very small,

And he was no whit bigger,

And so I smiled, but he poked out

His tongue and called me, ‘nigger.’


I saw the whole of Baltimore

From May until December:

Of all the things that happened there

That’s all that I remember.”—Countee Cullen, Incident

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