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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

Snake Oil (Light RP Game)


The Big Pointy One

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Hey guys, so in the better interest of trying to generate a little casual buzz, I've decided to run a play-by-post game of Snake Oil. Essentially, Snake Oil is a game of on-the-fly salesmanship and creative thinking. In the actual card game, the way it works is everyone who's playing is dealt out a hand of six cards, each of which has a single word on it. After that, one person is selected randomly to be the 'customer'. The customer will be dealt a two-sided card with two different occupations/lifestyles/etc. on it. They pick one, and everyone else playing now has about 30 seconds to come up with a sales pitched based on an item made out of two cards from their hands. After everyone has had a turn pitching their product (in the actual game you have about 30 seconds to make your pitch, after which, the customer can just say "Nope, not interested" or something of the like) the customer then has to decide which product they want to buy. This decision can be made based on who's product was the best, which one they liked the most, who gave the best pitch; it's all completely arbitrary, decided on by the customer. They decide by giving their card to the person they chose. After everyone has had a chance at being a customer, the person with the most customer card wins!The way I think I'll do it for the forums is thusly:

I will "deal" everyone participating six unique cards either via personal spoilers (if someone can show me how to do this) or via PM. I'll randomly select someone to be the customer after say... four people at least join in. People can drop in at any point, even if a round has gone by. It's a slight disadvantage, but the game is really open like that, and it still works out okay. Anyways, I'll also let the person who's customer know their two options and then they can make it publically known which one they chose via a post. Everyone else now has about a week or two (ample time, right?) to come up with their pitch and post it in the thread. You may choose to either make it public or hide it via spoilers if you don't want the other players to see it until after they've posted. It's not a big deal; often times in the card game players alter their pitch based on the players before them, so it's okay. After the two weeks have gone by, or after everyone who has been 'dealt' cards has posted, then the customer will decide who will get their 'card'. A new customer will be selected out of everyone else, and play will continue. Everyone at this point has the option to 'discard' any number of cards and get replenished back to six.I'll now give an example of play.So, let's myself and my imaginary friends Spiderman and Batman are playing at the moment. Batman is the customer and Spiderman and I are the salesmen. After much consideration, he decides he's going to be the Runaway. I have been dealt the following cards:Horse

Seat

LockEarGlitterVirus

 

And Spiderman has been dealt:

 

SuitMonkeyDiamondHornTapeCostumeSpiderman, being quick on the draw, sees Monkey and Costume and is good to go. He goes ahead and makes his pitch like so:Alright Batman, so I see you're on the run. I'm not sure who you're running away from, since you don't have parents, but anyways. I bet running around, trying to find shelter, not having parents, all that stuff, it's very depressing. Well sir, I've got something that I think can brighten up your days: it's the Monkey Costume. Slip into this bad boy, and I guarantee that every day will be a barrel of fun! Need I say anymore?Myself, quite upset about all the "you don't have any parents" jabs, decide to go with Glitter and Horse, like-a so:Oh wow, that was pretty harsh. But let's get real here, Mister Batman. Not only is being a runaway sad, but it's also dangerous. You might not have your batmobile with you, or any of your other sweet crime fighting gear, so I've got a little something for you. It's fabulous, it's expedious, it'll keep you warm on those cold nights, my friend, say hello to the Glitterhorse! Not only can you ride it out of a sticky situation, but it'll also bring a little bit of extra sparkle to your day!Batman then thinks for a moment, and although he was upset about the 'no parent' jokes, there's just no way he's being caught dead on some sparkly horse. Monkey suit it is. He gives the card to spiderman, and play proceeds as outlined above.Sound fun?

 

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Depending on how quickly the pitches are to be demanded, I could probably play this. It sounds like fun. I'll tentatively sign up to play in character as Alaeha. I never really made time to do much with the character as she evolved in my mind.

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I'll get to dealing out cards shortly, just using this as a place holder. Please note that you don't have to really be in character; the only actual RP that has to be done would be as a salesperson trying to sell a given product to the customer. The customer could also RP their reactions if they want, but failing that, they can just say "I pick x person's product because y" (y can equal 'because I feel like it')Stay tuned, true believers!

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OOC: Alright, I'm sending out everyone's cards via PM, since I'm not familiar with how to set up private spoilers. I rolled a die between the 3 of us, since that's enough to start us off, and have determined that I will be the first customer. Since Alaeha wants to try and bring some RP to it, I will try and put in some effort as well :) It looks like the card I have drawn for myself is: "Frat Boy". Fun stuff. Once we get going, anyone else is still completely welcome to join in. Just declare your intention to join, and I will message you with your cards! :)

 

Since I'm running the game, in the interest if transparency, I shall display MY cards. No one else is required to do this. I received:Cannon

Foot

DeathArtPosterWindow

 

IC:Stick stumbles into the room, clearly inebriated, a bottle of Mr.Bunny brand carrot cake-flavoured vodka in one hand. He's wearing a black sweatervest with the greek letters "Lambda Lambda Lambda" over a makeshift toga made out of a bedsheet. He seems completely unaware of the various marker drawings adorning his face at the moment."Woo! Where's the part-hic-party at? Where'd everybody go? Hellooooo?"

Edited by The Big Pointy One
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OOC: I also forgot to mention, in case it wasn't implied, after the pitches have been made and the customer has made the decision, everyone "discards" the two cards they've used, and any other ones they don't want and "draws" new cards until they are back up to six total. That way, you're not stuck with the same six words all game.

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(Why not? I may as well share mine as well. My words are:CheeseBraceletBodyMusicSpaceTree)

 

For some time, a dark haired woman had been sitting in the corner holding a bottle of scotch and a glass in what seemed idle contemplation. She looked up at the toga-clad youth and stood with a half-smile.

 

"A party? I could point you toward three parties right now. Most of the Lambda Lambda Lambda boys seem to be headed up to the Lounge on High Street, but I heard they were having some trouble finding a DJ." She reached into her purse and pulled out a small, shiny disc. "It seems to me we can kill two birds with one stone here! This disc is full to the brim with high quality renderings of Space Music! I happen to know the boys out there love this stuff, and there's 40 hours of music in here. Take it up to the Lounge and your party is set to go all night!

 

"Of course, I didn't get all of this Space Music for free... 15 geld, and it's yours!"

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OOC: Heh, you didn't have to share yours, I just did it since I got to see everyone else's. No harm in it though :) Snypiuer: Your cards have been sent! Good luck/skills!IC:

 

Stick stumbles around, looking dumbfounded then grasps at the disc clumsily "Spaysh mushic huh? Wait, like Mush *hic* Muse? I love dem guysh... *hic!* Interesting... what elsh we got on the ol' chaaaawppin' block tonight? Woop woop!" Stick turns around to find the next salesperson.

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A tall, thin man with a pin-stripe suit and a pencil-thin mustache, sidles up next to Stick and puts a friendly arm around his shoulder.

 

"Why, my, my, myyy. Aren't you the Man! If you ask me, you don't need to find a party, because it will come to you! All you need are the balloons! And do I have the balloon for you!" The man bends in closer and says softly, in a conspiritorial voice, "Now, I don't just sell these balloons to anyone. But, I can see that YOU are not just anyone!" With a flourish, the man pulls out a balloon (that's right, ONE balloon). "I give you . . . the SNAKE BALLOON!" Stretching the balloon between his hands, he continues, "Now, to the untrained eye, this seems like nothing more than a long, thin balloon. But only a fool would believe that this, magnificent, item were a mere balloon. And you, my friend are no fool! I can see by the spark of intelligence in your eye that YOU can see the TRUTH of it's granduer and I GUAR-EN-TEE, that with a few short breaths, YOU will be the sole possessor of the WONDERFUL Snake Balloon and the party will soon begin!"

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Now, Stick. As a frat boy, you don't have a lot of time for homework. Who does?! Girls, parties, beer; those are all you need from life. But teachers never seem to get that! You can't tell them the truth because they just aren't cool enough for the truth. What I have here for you today will solve that problem. I present to you: the Excuse Team. Not only are they great at handing out excuses that are sure to get the teachers to give you a pass, but they're also a party unto themselves! Brian never goes anywhere without filling up that keg, all the guys live with Chuck in his fantastic basement suite, and Sandy... well, you'll meet Sandy...

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The drunken Stick stares blankly at the three salespeople in front of them and then looks like he is about to speak but abruptly falls over. As he does, he points to Katzaniel, seemingly implying that he wishes to purchases the Excuse Team.

OOC: I loved all the pitches guys, but I'm giving it Katz on this one. I'll PM y'all your new cards; Katz will have the option of being the new customer this round. Let me know if you plan on discarding any extra cards.

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A tall, pale woman glides into the room and narrows her eyes at the drunken youth until he stumbles out the door. Ever so slowly, she turns to face the presenters. She widens her cherry-red lips into a predatory grin. "Offer me a bargain, mortals, or dine with me tonight. Your choice."

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Alaeha flashes a quick, but brilliant smile at the sight of the pale woman, and she cocks her head to the side as though listening to some inaudible friend. A laugh escapes her lips as she reaches impossibly deep into her handbag and withdraws a small sketch.

 

"Greetings, my nocturnal friend!" She approaches silently, not quite touching the ground with each stride, "I've known a few vampires in my time, and if you're shopping for a bargain, I happen to have just the thing for you."

 

She extends the sketch depicting a forest clearing around a single enormous tree, from which lifeless humans hang like fruit.

 

"This, my friend, is a Body Tree. I never understood the thing -- it grows fresh, young adult human bodies with no minds attached. It's an endless -- albeit inefficient -- form of sustenance for a creature such as yourself, with none of the annoyance of trying to find a willing donor or escape notice. I happen to have the exact location marked on one of my maps, and I'd be happy to share it with you, for the right price."

 

Alaeha relaxes backward into a seated position, floating in the air next to the vampire. "Of course, I wouldn't mind sitting down for a meal with you either. I've acquired a certain fondness for blood over the years."

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The tall, thin man approaches, with a slight tip of the hat, he says, "Ladies!" and taking the pale womans' hand, he brings it to his lips and gives it a kiss, all the while looking her in the eye, "Madam. This fine young ladies' Body Tree sounds like a wonderful thing. But, a person of your station should need not travel to have a meal! In fact, not only should your meal come, willingly, to you, you should look elegant as it does." He pulls out a gossamer shoulder wrap, "THIS, my dear lady, is made of Doubt Lace. Not only is it an elegant and VERY flaterring fashion accessory, it also causes those within the wearers vacinity to doubt their own thoughts and feeelings, and to, instead, rely on WHATEVER the wearer tells them. A woman of your intelligence and sophistication can surly see the useulness of such a garment."

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An agile-looking elven woman steps into the room, gracefully stepping over the unconscious Stick with a disappointed glance. "Ah, well, since my comrade appears to be... unable to continue on in his sales duties, I shall be taking his place. My name is Roxxia, and I am pleased to introduce..." she produces a square object covered in a delicate cloth "...this. I dare not lift the veil that covers it, for you see, I personally retrieved this artefact from the tomb of a long-destroyed lich. It was one of his most prized possessions, the legendary Death Art Beware! All those who gaze upon the grizzly visage beneath this protective sheet are surely doomed! I have not seen its effects in person, but from my understanding, anyone who looks at the picture immediately drops dead, their soul seemingly drained out of them, but their vital organs (and fluids) still intact. I wouldn't offer such an item to just any vampire though, oh no! I offer this to you, because I know you are responsible, and surely would in no way find any method of which to abuse such an item."OOC: Sorry for the delay guys :S

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