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smallscale_mind_games

An Unexpected Barbecue

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Wyvern, who was still swooning a bit from the luck of Degorram's earlier kiss, froze and went bug-eyed as he watched the results of Kikuyu's spin. The reptilian Elder frantically dug through his belt and sack without taking his eyes off of Kikuyu and Degorram, only to curse inwardly at his lack of Almost Dragonic Brand Ultra-Disposable Cameras™ in this time of need. The overgrown lizard's eyes widened further as the two sisters leaned towards one another in a sensual manner, and his tongue hung loose as they began to move in for a kiss...

 

"EWWWWWW!" Minta's voice shrieked out in the background. "COOTIES!"

 

The various barbecue guests sitting in the circle glanced at one another for a moment with uncertain frowns. They slowly shifted and then began scrambling away from each other at a rapid pace, the fear of contractible cooties written in their eyes and unpuckered lips. The entire "Spin the Bruteweiser Bottle" circle splintered off in all directions, effectively ending the game and leaving Degorram and Kikuyu relieved of their kissing duties... and Wyvern disappointed.

 

"Wh-what? Awww c'moooon!" Wyvern hissed as Kikuyu and Degorram backed out of their sensual kissing position. "No fair! It'ssss still yer turn, Kikuyu, now let's make it-"

 

Wyvern paused as Kikuyu and Degorram stared at him with penetrating eyes. He slinked back and finally managed to squeak:

 

"... count?"

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Ran gave a huge yawn, almost spilling the food she had just dipped onto her plate. Ninja Minion she had left in her rooms to clean, but as big as the mess was, she doubted that much of a dent would be made by the time she got back. She had just recieved news about the barbeque, and decided to go. She should have taken the time to change out of her tee and sweats, though, and maybe she should have brushed her hair, but then again, that would have taken probably a half hour.

She munched on a cookie as she waited in line for her drink. She really should get out more, she felt like she had gained a few pounds doing nothing but trying to get through her writer's block. Oh, and playing on some games...and watching movies...and reading manga. Oh well.

She caught a glimpse of the hosts, and stopped by them for a few minutes. "Hi, I'm Ran Yoko, writer, Shadow Walker and one of the local sleep walkers. 'Scuse me, but I need to find a seat."

She walked off, leaving them wondering slightly about the messy, scruffy-looking woman...

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The location of the Mighty Pen Keep, or rather the lack thereof, took some getting used to. It wasn't that Tamaranis couldn't keep track of all the different places it turned up, he'd learned to move through the madness between worlds long ago and had grown used to awareness of extra dimensions since then. It was that there was a certain way things should be, an order and a pattern to them, and the keep defied that.

 

Still, the place this Mordekai and Cole lived was unique and interesting and getting here by taking advantage of the keep's poorly defined location was easier than punching through the chaos between. Maybe he should have taken a less direct route to see a little more of it, maybe he'd go for a stroll after putting in an appearance at the party. It seemed peaceful enough but with a keep that could be reached from dozens of locations simultaneously you never knew what you were going to get.

 

Overt signs of undeath could startle people from even the most liberal societies so he pressed a little bit of energy into his flesh and let it lose focus until it became an appropriate amount of heat. A few breaths for practice to "warm up" and he was able to maintain a realistic rate and depth of breath with very little concentration. Doing something about being pale would be more trouble than it was worth, they'd sent an open invitation to The Pen, a man who was a little pale would hardly be the strangest character to show up.

 

A pale man of slightly below average height wearing a white coat managed approached Cole at the Barbeque, "Hi there, I'm Tamaranis... you can call me Tam if you like. Welcome to the neighborhood, or good luck with us being in the neighborhood, maybe."

 

Glancing around the yard he noted Minta, Wyvern, the Grim Squeaker, and something made of shadows, which would have been alarming if not for the fact there was hardly any trace of void to it. He needn't have bothered dressing up at all.

Edited by Tamaranis

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With a loud clatter, a massive, heavily-armoured orc rides up to the party. The orc takes a few breaths, then mutters softly, "Strange to sense Undead here... perhaps I should stay in case...". The orc removes his helm, dismounts and walks over to introduce himself to the hosts, trying his best to appear non-threatening (an eight-foot tall orc in full plate obviously finds this difficult). With the formalities done, he searches for a seat; eventually he settles into a plain armchair, which promptly falls apart under his weight.

Edited by Hjolnai

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The Death of Rats noted Tamaranis' gaze, and raised its' foreleg with thumb and pinky fingers extended, and waggled the hand in greeting.

 

Tamaranis had given up long ago trying to determine which the small aspect truly had: toes or fingers.

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Tamaranis inclined his head toward the Death of Rats, and noticed his tiny scythe seemed to have been...modified. By Minta no less. This sort of thing had a tendency to end poorly, but meaningful communication with the Grim Squeaker was difficult, at best, and he knew better than to interefere. He'd already wished their host good luck, so he resolved to ignore the matter for the time being.

 

"I really should make a greater effort to keep abreast of things, here." He mused, then confided to Cole, "I wasn't even aware we had an orcish member, for instance. There are certain adjustments to decor one has to make in order to account for that sort of development, as you can see.

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Kikuyu's head swiveled at the sound of crashing metal and splintering wood. In her head she hopefully thought, Oh! A tussel!

 

Her gaze found the armored orc picking himself up from debris and plucking a few plaid comfortors off of his shoulder spikes.

 

Kikuyu blinked and sniffed. "Ordolar?" she whispered, feeling the name roll of her tongue to splat on the ground with a heavy, clanky thud. Kikuyu put a hand to her chin and groaned. "But first things first."

 

Kikuyu whirled back around to Wyvern. The Almost Dragon was gripped tightly by Deggoram by the shoulders. His gaze flitted nervously between the twins as Kikuyu advanced with a spreading leer.

 

"N-Now hold on ladiesss....what do ya think yer doin...?"

 

The twins lunged at the same time, squishing Wyvern's face between a very large twin kiss. Cackling Degorram and Kikuyu scurried off to chase each other around the lawn, inevitably ending up at the food table where they silently and, with an attempt at failed secrecy, threw sausages at each other under the table.

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Sora watched the people from her perch. Were Degorram and Kikuyu drunk or something? Sure looked like it. "Boy, there's a lot of people here I haven't even heard of." Maybe she should go mingle. . .get to know some people. . .if only she had some idea of what to say. "I hate being a wimp," she muttered. Oh well.

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After a lengthy period of basking in the adulation of the moment, Wyvern slowly swoons to his feet, a dreamy look glazed over his beady eyes. The overgrown lizard hisses an extra happy sigh, pressing his claws together and staring up at the sky. A goofy-looking grin stays plastered on his face while the tip of his tail twists itself into a temporary heart formation. The overgrown lizard takes a deep whiff of the barbeque air, then does a crooked twirl and lumbers forward in an attempt at a happy skip of sorts. He glances left and right on the lookout for the twin sisters behind his current high, almost crashing into Ordolar's steed as he narrowly misses collisions with a variety of pennite guests. The overgrown lizard waves to Tamaranis and Sora Hikari as he dodges sausages tossed from a table nearby, catching a few on his horns in the process. He eventually seats himself at Ran Yoko's feet after determining it the spot most likely to receive food dropped by the person eating, then lays out an Almost Dragonic Brand Flattened Kitten Picnic Mat™ and stares up at Ran Yoko intently.

 

"Hiya Ran. Take yer time with the food." Wyvern grins and lays out empty plates and silverware directly under where Ran Yoko's eating. "Oh, and if ya wanna trade something for the weinerssss on my horns, jussst ask."

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Harmony arrives with her accompaniment, a ghost-like muse with a lute, floating above and behind her. She glances dreamily at the food, then decides she's not hungry, and politely seats herself as close to Wyvvern as possible without seeming too forward...or getting barbeque sauce on her cream-colored silks from Ran-Yoko's avid munchings. She arranges her dress and her muse and begins twiddling a strand of golden hair between her fingers, attempting to think of something witty...

Edited by Harmony

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Wyvern nibbles on the tip of one of his sausages nervously, very much in the same situation as Harmony. The overgrown lizard had clearly noticed her choice of seat, and something told him that Harmony was there for more than just Ran Yoko's leftovers. Wyvern gulps down his food and plucks another of the weiners from his horns, catching a scrap dropped by Ran Yoko with his other claw.

 

"Uhhh... hiya, Harmoney. I mean Harmony." Wyvern strikes an awkward grin as he desperately tries to think of something witty to win her over with. "Uhm... nice mussse you got there. Doesss he/she/it have a name?"

 

Harmony turns her head to respond, only to cry out as a hot dog tossed from Kikuyu and Degorram's mini food fight sails through the air in her direction. The barbeque sauce-laden frank lands on Harmony's pristine silken dress with a splat, producing a dark brown stain that leaves Harmony with a somewhat horrified expression.

 

"Oh geeze, lemme help you with that."

 

Wyvern pulls out a napkin and raises it up, only to clean off his snout with it before leaning in to lick the sauce from Harmony's dress with his forked tongue.

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Kikuyu glanced over, as if in slow motion, as the sausage arced its way towards the pristine dress. Somewhere in the background she heard Degorram's voice, low and distorted, screaming "Noooooooooooo!"

 

Even her ninja skills were not quick enough. Kikuyu threw herself forward, falling short in her haste. The sausage splatted with a thick, resounding smack onto the lovely silk. A dark brown-red stain spread across the cloth.

 

Kikuyu stared in surprise that the stain would set so fast, then horror at the mar to the pretty silk, then embarassment as Wyvern started to lick at the sauce.

 

Degorram appeared next to Kikuyu, her face a mirror image of Kikuyu's horror. "Oh geez," she muttered. "Where's Orlan the sexy sexy man when you need him."

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Harmony's eyes widen, as her gaze takes in the dress, Wyvvern's expression, and Kikuyu lying on the floor. Her muse shivers and shape-changes into a tall red flame...her eyes change color to a deep purple. Then, to everyone's suprise, she begins to giggle hysterically...her face flushing pinker and pinker until she distinctly resembles the hot dog lying in her lap. She laughs for approximately 10 minutes straight, her entire body flushing bright red, and causing everyone in the barbecue to look at her nervously and mutter under their breath.

Finally she gasps, coughs, chokes, and stops, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Oh, oh..hehehehe...Aahahe, your faces...D-Don't worry. Don't worry! It's changeable."

She grins up at Wyvvern, an unusually toothy grin, for such a ladylike-appearing girl. "It's Almost-Magical Brand Chameleon Silk." She stands, shakes out her dress, and a ripple of rich, dark reddish-brown barbecue-sauce color spreads from the stain outwards until it colors the entire dress...including her skin, which stays bright red, and hair, which changes to a dark chocolate color. She winks at Kikuyu. "Nice moves! Wish I could do that..." She turns back to Wyvvern, who is staring at her uneasily. "Oh, Muse doesn't really have a name. Or a personality, actually. She's a she because I am...but I just call her 'Muse'. The Nine have names, though. Muse is just the conduit for The Nine." She looks expectantly around(wondering if she can still eat, now that she's sauce-colored).

Edited by Harmony

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Harmony looks at Wyvvern(whose tongue is still hanging out), then Kikuyu, then Degorram, curiously. "Who is Orlan? I would like to meet this Orlan, and see if he is as sexy sexy as you say."

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Wandering under Harmony's legs and eyeing (...socketing?) its new scythe thoughtfully, The Grim Squeaker fades in and out of mortal vision absently.

 

Then, in a rustle of cloak, it dashes forward, on spying an unlucky mouse who had felt that the large red thing had now provided enough distraction from the corn to make a go of it.

 

It heard a strange humming, a 'Snicker-snack!', and then the world went pinwheeling up and around it, and it had occasion to regret that he and the wife had argued just before left tonight.

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Moments later, Ran started when Kikuyu's shadow turned its head independently of its owner, and waved at her.

 

Simultaneously, Sora shrieked when she realized there was a Rat Skeleton in a black cloak and fur coat sitting on her knee and it turned to give her a little wave.

 

It also seemed to be carrying a steam powered clockwork scythe that sported a blade reminiscient of a flock of birds, so she was hardly blamed for screaming.

 

Below, Ozymandias pinched the bridge of his nose, and slowly shook his head before studiously taking another bite of his fourth bratwurst.

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(okay, note to all, I don't actually eat like that.)

Ninja Minion had snuck in, hoping to get some food, then sneak back before Ran noticed her. She was out of luck.

"Ninja Minion. . .what are you doing here?"

"Ah, well, I was hungry! I was going to get something to eat, then go finish cleaning!"

Ran yanked a whip out of thin air, and started beating up on her hapless minion. Everyone stared in awe and perhaps just a bit of fear. Ran resumed eating as Ninja Minion ran back home.

(another note, I'm not actually that cruel, either. trying to get a few laughs.)

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Wyvern kneels down and scoops up some of the whipped sausage left over from Ran's ninja minion abuse, gathering as much food as he can in light of the barbecue drawing to a close. The overgrown lizard's tongue slowly rolls back into his mouth as he turns his head towards Harmony again, admiring the magical hue of her dress now that her muse has reverted to a less menacing state.

 

"Oooo, Almost-Magical Chameleon Silk... I thought they ssstopped fabricating that stuff after some king tried wearing it and it went transssparent?" Wyvern shuffles past Kikuyu and narrowly avoids crushing the Grim Squeaker underfoot as he moves within licking range of Harmony again. "Hope ya don't mind, may I...?"

 

Wyvern pulls out a pair of phony spectacles to give himself an air of authority as well as a can of Almost Dragonic Brand Canned Hidden Camera™ for some physical documentation. He begins inspecting the lining of Harmony's dress with careful pokes while recording large numbers of a scrap of paper, signifying price estimations (or perhaps measurements, if the overgrown lizard's imagination was running away with itself again). Wyvern attempts to lift the hem of the dress to examine the fabric underneath, but is clobbered by Degorram, Kikuyu, and Harmony almost simultaneously. He collapses into a puddle of ketchup and barbecue sauce that had formed from Dego and Kikuyu's frank battle, his canned camera rolling to the side as a visible bump forms between two scales on his head.

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Kikuyu smoothed back her hair and brushed some dirt (or maybe fragment of pummeled Wyvern) from her pristine black clothing. She looked up at Harmony. "Sexy Sexy Orlan is something of a clothing expert, you might say. You should have been here for the Stealth Sprite invasion. Dego and I were put on guard duty for his designer clothing...but..." her eyes faded to another time and a disgusted, twisted look of horror shadowed her face. "Their haiku...it was too poweful..."

 

Kikuyu sat beside Wyvern. "If we only knew how to find him, and get him to come to the barbeque." Kikuyu glanced meaningfully at Wyvern, poking the bump on his head. "Any bright ideas Inspector??"

Edited by Kikuyu Black Paws

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Harmony glares meaningfully at the prostrate Wyvvern, then blushes a dark brown, grimacing. "Yes, the silk did have that little mishap once, in the earlier stages of production...I should have seen those two tailors coming, but they were just so cute!!" She sighs dreamily, gazing up at the ever-increasingly visible stars. "Ah, good times...you should have seen how adorable they looked at MY barbecue. And so tasty, too! Who knew those who sew could be so delicious?" She pulls a swathe of her skirts out of Wyvvern's reach, as he is still plucking at the seams...and turns to Kikuyu.

"You know, Sprites are very tasty too, baked, with a garnish of Lemon. So, you guarded this designer clothing, er, clothing designer? How wonderful! And he is gone now, yes? How wonderful! So you could, say, be persuaded to tell me of these designs, for a price, perhaps? Heh heh...not that I need them, of course.."

She mumbles and giggles absently, digging around in the many pockets in her skirts for a chequebook, and comes up with a live purple rabbit, a wooden hatstand, a cell phone shaped like a full-size, anatomically correct crocodile skull, a huge wad of half-chewed bubble gum, a naughty lawn gnome, a large predetory tooth, a green balloon, and a large black velvet sack filled with something that appeared to be smoking. She puts all these items back into her pockets one at a time, apparently unaware of the stunned/amused expressions of the other guests around her, and finally brings out a sparkly green notebook and pen. She turns back to Kikuyu. "Ah, there we are...heh heh. So tell me more, dear! I want to know all about this Sprite invasion, and Haiku, and other things...like the clothing designs...*ahem* I mean, clothing designer, of course!"

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