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Gyrfalcon

Pen Roll Call 2005

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the meadow where his friends the Bunny-Wunnies are holding their annual Grand Ball.

 

Snoopy joyfully leaped off his Sopwith Camel, removed his goggles, and took his place in the circle of happily dancing Bunnies. The music played and the Bunnies and Dog cavorted among the wildflowers all afternoon, until they were exhausted.

 

After a short rest Snoopy gathered his Bunny-Wunny friends about him, and they sat in a circle. Snoopy started to tell them a story, a wonderful story about a...

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penguin. A very special penguin, born with bunny ears and gifted with an almost uncanny ability to carve apples into heatseeking bananas suitable for bonking evil wizards -- with his beak!

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...But the Penguin had a tendency to not only shoot evil wizards with heat seeking bananas, he also could do a dance, and a jig, when the rash on his ....

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...tail acted up. But then, poor pengy's rash had a tendancy to do that on a near-daily basis, and so he was always doing that little itchy-jig instead of bonking evil wizards with heat-seaking banana missiles.

 

Which was good news, as today was the Second Annual Evil Wizards' Convocation and Chili Cook Off. It was just getting into full swing when...

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... Rantalafastickaniltumulanius, one of the few remaining good wizards and party-pooper extraordinaire, decided to show up ...

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proper pen dancing (sort of like sword dancing. Everyone was impressed, but the penguin was twice as impressed, because he saw that Mira's dancing was even done penguin style. The lawyer, shrugged, frustrated and wandered off to find something else illegal. The penguin had worked hard to seem carefree when said lawyer was present, but it was a great load off his wings to see him gone.

Turning to Mira he said. "I have had previous legal.....issues and could not afford to be taken to court, so I owe you a favor--anything you want done, any quest. Tell me now and I will do it."

Mira smiled, surprised. "Well, you really don't have to do that, but...

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...There's a certain evil wizard I'd love to see bonked on the head with a heat-seaking apple!"

The peguin scoffed, "A heat-seeking apple, thats just silly! A heat-seeking bannana maybe but an apple is just silly! Listen, instead of attcking a wizard with an apple how about I..."

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..... request of the artic gods of mayhem, a favour, in the form of a small glacier, which would extend from his left nostril to his right cheek, freeze his eyebrow, and drip melt water into his mostach" ......

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Alas, double-Weenie would suck. And I'll get it if I don't do something about it. So luckily, I did.

 

I started a poem yesterday and finished it today, but will refrain from posting it here as I have posted it in the Banquet Room already, and it's too long to bother you with in two different threads. ;)

 

So I will direct you to its title instead, should you wish to read it. It's called "Crimson Creak", and I hope it'll take care of my Weenie as well as the dreadful prospect of becoming a double-Weenie.

 

Thank you,

 

/Thinas\

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... the darkelf said, and then the penguin honked with glee and launched a heat-seeking apple at him in an explosive, ritual welcome.

 

Mira blinked and nudged the tuxedoed bird. "A glacier, you were saying...?"

 

"Oh, right. Yes, a glacier would be much more appropriate, and I think we can get the arctic gods to help with that if you'll only just...

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A tiny tree nymph snatched a nibble of Stick's hamburger and was gone before the breeze from her wings was visible against any solid object.

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As you sit contemplating the exsistance of neurological stimuliation of the front epicentrial lobe of hte human brain you hear a small voice from places unknown....

 

This voice has only one thing to say...

 

 

 

"I'm still around dammit!"

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" I believe they were talking about a hamburger coming out of someones nose. " A voice repiled to Stick's question.

 

"Is that right?" The moon elf asked.

 

Turning around to see what all the comotion was about she laid eyes upon......

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A gentleman dressed in a dark red collarless silks shirt, black slacks and dress shoe, and blue tinted John Lennon style sunglasses. The man's tall, thin form was accented with whispy dark brown hair and goatee.

 

"I'm sorry," the man stated," I didn't mean to disturb you from..." He paused as though trying to fingure out what was happening."...well, whatever you are doing. I'm a little lost. I was just at the Golden Lotus Club in Bangkok. Some jerk with a strange teleportation powder sent me here; where ever here is."

 

The moon elf cocked their head in confusion. That's about the time when....

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. . .the cabaret singer on stage stooped and took a folded card from the front row of the audience. "Helllllooho tonight," she crooned, unfolding the note, "and please give a warm welcome to the Knight of Lilliput. . .'your time has come'. . .Oh bother."

 

The cabaret singer polymorphed back into a pint-sized dragon (elsewhere, Wyvern experienced a gusher nosebleed, soaking and ruining a pile of free documents and one travel agent portalfolio) as the patrons dove for cover. A few brave penguins fell back behind an overturned table and hastily assembled a(n). . .

Edited by Quincunx

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...Almost Draconic Magic Portal through which they hastily fled. What the penguins had not counted on, however, was the fact that besides taking all their gold in the process (and diverting it to Wyverns private treasure horde) it also dumped them square in the middle of...

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...Transylvania, where they found themselves penniless and surrounded by hordes of vampiric rabbits. The penguins spun around in horror, searching for some escape, but alas, they were surrounded. The rabbits began to close in, chanting "Ve vant to suck your blood, Ve vant to suck your blood..." The penguins feared all hope was lost, until...

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A bright light appeared out of nowhere, scaring the vampire rabbits away. "Vampire Rabbits, who woulda thought?" Came a rather heavily accented voice. "Better come prepared next time." With that, a stark figure walked off. The penquins stare at the descending figure when......

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...a horde of butterflies swarmed the figure which started to scream with a.....

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... screech that could make a dwarf's ears bleed. Meanwhile, the penguins duck and run for cover, searching the skeletal trees around for the semi-expected shape of a pretty little angel, co-conspirator of butterflies. Instead, they find...

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...two very angry men, one is tall, wearing a waistcoat, top hat and pocket watch, the other, stout, smoking a giant cigar and balding on top, wearing a grey pinstripe suit. The tall man screams "ZANOO!" while pointing at them, while the short man cuffs the other on the side of the ear and urges them onward with his own broad hand motions and shouts in a deep, throaty voice, "OONAZ ka FON!" and smiles at them, eyes twinkling...

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...with impatience, for if he doesn't get those penguins in the cauldron soon, dinner will never be ready in time for the 5th annual penguin lovers anonymous convention.

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