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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword
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DeanTheAdequate

Dean The Adequate!

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~History~

Dean's history is mostly unknown. However, There are some bit's Phil was willing to tell us....

 

"Well, you see 'Dean' was a sort of genius when it came to the ways of spellcraft. As a matter of fact, he was too good. As a matter of fact, the order he worked with to take over the world, known as "The Pack" decided he was far too dangerous with such power. So they combined thier efforts.

 

"Frank, Tony, Nick and Sammy used a lot of the power of "The Pack" to souse Dean like there was no tomorrow. They found that when drunken, his taste for power waned and he'd not bother killing them after the world was finally thiers. At least, that was the plan.

 

"At the same time drink made Dean's powers wane. This meant a great many of the plans of "The Pack" were thwarted. So they sent Dean off and bound him to a pact. If he were to ever re-gain his powers "The Pack" would step in and do thier best to seal him from the world.

 

"Now Dean hops from friendly realities he grows fond of. An old friend of his tempted him to set up some digs here to bring some fun games to compliment the halls of the Pen

 

"Oh, and could you not remind him of the whole taking over the world thing? Last thing we need is him skipping his six martini lunch then heading off to build a secret underground lair. Again."

 

~Abilities~

Dean is able to make his liver swear in every known and unknown language.

 

He's also the world's only practicioner of "Drunken Gunfighting". Kind of a mix of "Gunkata" which he saw in a movie once and "Drunken Boxing" which he saw in quite another movie once. People who fight near him are quite often found diving for cover...

 

~Magical Abilities~

A super powered Archmagus!!! Able to command popwrs that rival the gods themselves!!!

 

At least, back in the old days.

 

Now of days he's found that he likes to use old cliches, puns, double entandres and other foul areas of English Grammar and human nature for his spells. And between that and the fact chanting is quite impossable while a glass is to the lips (Well, the printable ones anyway) seeing Dean cast a useful spell is quite a rare moment.

 

~Items~

One of Dean's prized items is a vest that slides smoothly under any other article of clothing. It's yellow and has X's on it at random intervals. From it he can pull any object he desires.

 

For his own protection he keeps a Mauser left to him from the great Arsine Lupan II with him most of the time.

 

Finally is his multidimensional mini bar, from which he travels to his many homes across the multiverse. The inside uses "TARDIS" technology to become "The Vinyard". There, the Drunken Lunkas tend the winery, distillery, and storerooms. Feel free to take the tour anytime.

 

~Physical Description~

Dean's a slightly built man. He looks uncanilly like a member of the "Rat Pack" that bears his name... But that's neither here nor there.

 

What matters, in his own opinion, is the threads. His standard style of dress is a sleek black smoking jacket with a neon martini glass. If he says the right word he can make it animate into a small filling motion.

 

He also seems to have a drink in his hands at all times. Dosen't really matter what it is, it just happens to be there.

 

When called upon for more wizardly functions, Dean will begrudgingly put on more "Acceptable" wizards robes. Even a pointy hat, which for some reason can be tapped like a keg...

 

He also has no shame in getting dressed up for any specialty reason. He didn't get into magery for nothing after all. As styles change, so shalt the Dean.

 

And contrary to popular belief, yes, he always wears pants.

 

~Personality~

Dean is a boisterous, happy fellow with a wry grin and a smooth disposition. Always ready to give a hand, especially when it's not needed. And always ready to share a drink.

 

But don't get him sober. He'll still smile, but the devious b@$t@rd he is will be looking back at you and calculating your worth.

 

~Relationships~

While "The Pack" tends to be a thorn sometimes, there is one thing he left there with. Phil D. Cat. Phil is a familar whom is the voice of reason for Dean on many of his more drunken moments. He's more like a common sense cat than a seeing eye dog. Lucky for Dean Phil's level head can bark out orders (or is that meow out orders) whenever there is a problem. Or when Phil just feels like grumbling.

 

Editted by Katz for Search-compliant formatting.

Edited by Katzaniel

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