[Mardrax]

Right. Long time none of my melodrama. Have some
I'm not content with the lack of structure in this, then again, I still feel falling to and from structure is something that reflects the way my mind works well. There's a couple of other things I don't really like as well. May be coming back to this when I feel like it.

Feedback is, as always, highly appreciated.

~~~~

I could tell you a thousand times
about limbs doing things while I sleep
I could give you a thousand lines
and I still wouldn't blame you
if you told me you found me a creep

I hate myself for that.

Since if I'd tell you a thousand times
about limbs doing things while I sleep
I wouldn't be giving you
all of the truth

I tried to hold you, of course
Consciously? Very much so.
I tried a tentative hand
hoping you'd hold it
and never let go

Hoping you'd take
the thousand butterflies
you'd poked up that day,
and heed their existence

You turned away though
And so did I
giving me no option
but to rock them to sleep myself

Yet butterflies will flutter
and butterflies won't listen
as you told me
and I found out, waking
to you pushing me off

Until that hazy light of afternoon,
shining in, boiling me out,
giving some shine to the curls
that framed your sleeping face

"Like a cherub", I thought,
"had brown been the next blonde"
Still, like that cherub,
you quickly absconded

And I couldn't blame you.
'Cause if I gave you a thousand lines
You still wouldn't want to share
these butterflies with me

[Snypiuer]

Ohhh. . . Kayyy. . . absorbing it. Finding it. . . ummmmm. . . is it about feeling someone up while they sleep?!

I'm shallow and dense, so it could be about the uncertain nature of human interaction between two people as they test the boundaries of their relationship or the slow disintegration of a relationship as one individual slowly losses the desire to stay in said relationship and the other desperately clings to it.

Or, it could be that I am COMPLETELY oblivious to it's true meaning - this would, in NO way, be your fault.

I have NO real critique skills and even LESS knowledge of how poems should be structured - so ANYTHING I say can be viewed on the same level as if a monkey with massive head trauma and sever emotional problems had some how managed to type it!

Still, my immature nature prefers the 'trying to feel up a sleeping individual' hypothesis!

All that being said, I liked it!

[Mardrax]

In the words that this column taught me recently: "Stop biscuiting!"

Also, you might just be right. Or you might not. Does it matter? Find what you're looking for, and enjoy the find.

In any case, thanks for the comment. ^^